Violence Service Provider

David Ethan Kennerly, March 24, 2003

A bill titled Prohibiting sale of violent computer and video games to minors. The bill specifies law-enforcement officials as the targets of violence, according to http://www.frictionlessinsight.com/

So gulf war games, military glorification games, Medal of Honor, Ghost Recon, and slews of other forms of violence will not be affected. It's like as if McDonald's had just been given exclusive rights to everyone under the age of 18, and no other fast food chain allowed.

Except this isn't hamburgers; its psychological influence. It's the impressionable age. I respect that. I'm always careful what I say to or around children, so that they will have a good example to follow. Not so they will have their minds made up for them. Certainly not so they can become drones of a country that is defining 2003 as a victory for fascism and a defeat for Freedom where it counts most of all: in our own country.

This strikes me as insanity. It's as if our national servants are moving toward saying:

260 Million Disserved Daily

We are your Violence Service Provider (VSP). We are your only Violence Service Provider. Trust no Violence Service Provider that does not display the six-pointed star VSP logo (i.e. police badge) or the five-pointed star VSP logo (i.e. US joint forces)*. We will provide all violence. Any violence that you witness will be the violence that we want you to perform, on whom we want you to perform it, when we want you to perform it. The why we will handle; trust us, we know why.

Monopolizing US Violence Since 1913

* Please record our new VSP logo colors:

If you would like to not receive violence this month, please pay fifty cents for every dollar you make.

Packages include:
- Basic Disservice: Withhold violence against your person: $20,000 per year. Amounts may vary depending on your lifestyle, your profile as a potential competitor, and our willingness to refrain from providing violence to you. Group discounts available. Disservice 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.
- Premium Disservice: Home to our competitors; AKA prison. Can you compete with that? Check out our new referral program. Refer someone today!
- School for Children: Kids eat free! Not only that but we reinvest your money to train your children to become our next generation of violence service providers. Twelve years free! Every graduate is guaranteed with VSP-ready software pre-installed.
  And for our new customers overseas...
- Free introductory offer: Death or your money back.
We already have your customer ID. We're now upgrading our databases for more streamlined customer disservice.
Opportunities available!
- Domestic Service Operator: We pay you to provide our violence at home. Pick your own personalized three-letter branch: DEA, ATF, IRS, FBI, or NSA.
- Overseas Service Operator: We pay you to provide our violence abroad. And free service. We will contact you when your position is available.

Our Customer Satisfaction Guarantee
If we want it and you've got it, we'll get it.

Our Philosophy:

We are your VSP.
You will have no other VSP before us.
Free subscription. You were already subscribed at birth. Automatic renewal. You never leave.
You will tithe 50% to us for not receiving service.
Service now available world-wide.
Our violence is handmade. We custom tailor it to terrorize you.
Guaranteed fresh. Check your news for new violence every hour.

At over 200 million customers and $20,000 average per customer, our violence monopoly is a $4 trillion-dollar-a-year industry. But we're not squandering our earnings. We're paying dividends in disarming customers, violence, expanding operations, investing in new violence research and development such as the MOAB, new customer disservice profiling database, cutely called "The Beast," or Total Information Awareness, training new overseas branch executives, upgrading our VSP-software children's schools. We've never had the technology to disserve you better. And we're getting better every year.

If you're not completely satisfied with the amount or intensity of violence you're receiving, contact us and we'll increase dosage at no extra charge. Free delivery! You can't beat that. Forward News